Worthy Reflection

I’d wake in the middle of the night and stop on my way to the bathroom to look in the mirror

Measuring my worthiness in its reflection 

Touching my belly 

Desperately hoping it would respond with assurance of my enoughness 

Fullness 

Existence

Shrinking to survive 

And yet looking for myself in that mirror to take up space 

Was I checking that I was still alive? 

I had thought not to be 

But here I was 

Here I am 

Measured in my wholeheartedness and loving nature 

Finally, the body rests and I come awake